Reporter's notebook    

During nearly 27 years of writing about the people of Worthington, I have had the privilege of sharing many touching stories about people's struggles with illness, death and other heartaches and challenges of life.

Almost always, someone tells me how much it meant when the community offered its support. I thought I understood. Now I know I do.

As some of you already know, I have been waging my own battle with cancer since early last summer.

I was hesitant to write about my experience because, let's face it, cancer is not news. Everyone has been touched by it. If you haven't had the disease, someone you love has.

So you know the roller coaster ride, what it is like to live from diagnosis to surgery to treatment to CAT scan to biopsy to more treatment.

Pretty soon, the disease begins to define your life, and you are only as healthy as your latest pathology report.

My latest path (you learn a new language, too) wasn't that bad, but the CAT scan told a different story.

Now I sit perched at the very top of the roller coaster, about to be sent reeling down a long, steep, dark incline.

Surgery is set for next Tuesday, Dec. 19, 1 p.m., Riverside Hospital.

I have had three surgeries, but they were just warm-ups for the real thing. All three involved removing tumors or taking biopsies by using tools inserted through the urethra.

For those of us with bladder cancer, "transurethral resection" stops being a tongue-twister after about the second trip through the revolving doors of the O.R.

This upcoming surgery is much, much scarier. This time, my doctors will cut me open, then decide how to proceed.

The best-case scenario would be that the cancer is very localized, allowing doctors to remove only a portion of my bladder. That's the option I'm praying for, but the doctors are not optimistic.

So I know when I go to sleep on the operating table that when I awaken, I may be missing one or several organs. That would certainly not be my choice, but it may be the burden I must face to stay alive.

And the worst-case scenario? We all know.

I'm not planning on dying from this, though, so I will stop with the melodrama already.

I am planning on being away from work for several weeks, though. That is one of the reasons I decided to write this column. I knew that as soon as my byline disappeared, the rumors would fly.

So ... no, I wasn't fired (some of you are disappointed). I didn't retire. I'm not in jail. And I haven't finally been committed.

The other reason I decided to share my story was to selfishly take advantage of my position to thank all of the wonderful people of Worthington who have been there for me during this difficult time.

My life has forever been changed by learning just how many people care. Thank you for the cards, the flowers, the gifts, the hugs, the kind words. I value each of you, and have allowed myself to internalize each act of kindness and turn it into positive energy.

And thank you for the prayers. I feel so sustained by knowing that my name is part of so many prayer chains, prayer circles and worship services. Love, I've learned, is non-denominational.

Even some reluctant believers have decided this may be the time to give God another try. I am truly touched.

My own faith is strong, and will see me through.

Candy

Brooks

This story ran on page 04A COMMENTARY & OPINION of ThisWeek, Worthington edition on 12/14/2006.